Violence is never ok, whether it is
domestic or international. However, we must all be careful of what we put out
because that’s often what we will get back. “What goes around comes around”
couldn’t be more of a true statement.
Even if we change our actions, karma will pay us back for the wrong
we’ve done. Unfortunately, people won’t feel so sorry once the going around
comes back around, no matter how much we’ve changed. Case in point: Ms. Evelyn
“bout that life” Lozada behaved like an enraged wild animal on the last season
of Basketball Wives. The 36-year-old woman was seen throwing bottles, jumping
over tables (barefoot, might I add), and smacking people upside the head with
purses. She even threw shade at her once
bestie, Jennifer for pressing charges against her assistant Nia when she
smacked Jenn in the face. Evelyn was the
queen of violence who refused to back down to anyone, except Tami Roman.
Fast forward to August 2012 when Evelyn was head butted by her then
husband Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson. All of that bullying and tough talk went out
of the window. We all know that Evelyn sat there on nation TV and told Chad
that if he cheated to let her know and to use protection. Let me be clear that
cheating is not acceptable by any means. But if you have to give someone
guidelines for cheating, that probably isn’t the person you need to marry in
the first place. Despite the millions of viewers yelling at the tv telling
Evelyn how stupid she was to be with a man whom she almost knew would cheat,
she married him anyway. On the night in
question, Ev allegedly finds a receipt that contains condoms purchased by her
husband, who had apparently forgotten his vows. What happened next is
unbeknownst to us, but what we do “know” is that Evelyn got her wig split by
Chad’s head. Next, she got the neighbor to call the police and he went to jail,
got fired, lost endorsements, and a reality show.
Regardless of the fact that
Evelyn’s antics on Basketball Wives were more appropriate for Bad Girls Club,
she was a victim of domestic violence by a man, so the story goes. This is an issue that should not be taken
lightly. But it appears that many people consider Chad to be the victim for
marrying a malicious, violent, gold digger. Having met Chad personally, I do
believe that he is a nice guy with good intentions, but even nice guys flip.
Assaulting a female is totally out of line… or is it? Is a man allowed to have
a breaking point if he is hit first or constantly provoked? I don’t have an
opinion because I don’t go around hitting men (or women for that matter) and I
don’t expect ANYONE to hit me. But in 2012 is it acceptable for a man to hit a
woman if she has a reputation of being violent towards other people? That’s
sure what it seems like in this case. The world is STILL mad at Chris Brown for
beating the brakes off of Rihanna (with whom Evelyn is obsessed) in 2009. Both
domestic squabbles took place in a car. Both situations show proof of the man
abusing the woman, and not the reverse. So why are people so sympathetic towards Chad?
Is it because Rih Rih was viewed as
innocent? Is it because we saw the photos of her bruised face? Or is it because
we secretly believe that this incident served as karma for all of the people
Evelyn hurt on Basketball Wives? We must remember that what we see in the media
is not always who a person really is. Evelyn could have been a submissive and
loving wife, but because of her behavior on Basketball Wives many have chosen
to label her as an instigator who deserved what she got. The character that she portrays for ratings
may have overshadowed the victim that she is in this real-life situation. Is
this the fault of Evelyn, the media, or the public?
In my opinion, we all should take
part of the blame. Evelyn is old enough to not have to act like a fool on tv
just for the sake of fame. She is a mother and a daughter and should not have
to subject herself to such behavior to make money. Puppet master Shaunie may stir the pot, but
she maintains her dignity on the show by not jumping into the pot. It’s very
likely that VH1 created a role for Evelyn to play and the media thrives off of
her negativity because it’s their job to report foolishness to us because
obviously, we like it. Finally, we should accept part of the blame because we
were unable to separate a character from real life. We are holding Evelyn
accountable for some actions that may be fully scripted. When it comes to
domestic violence, I’m not ‘bout that life at all. I have been unbelievably upset
hearing about domestic violence situations in the past. I feel sorry for K
Michelle, Rihanna, Tina Turner, and all of the women I know who have been
abused by their significant others. But sadly, I don’t feel as sympathetic
towards Evelyn. Although I feel that what
Chad did was completely awful, my heart doesn’t ache for her in the same way
that it has for others. I prayed for
Evelyn and her family when I heard about the incident, but my heart didn’t
break, I didn’t get angry, and I didn’t shed a tear. I stated “Dang, that’s
messed up” said a prayer and kept it moving. I even went as far as to think that she
shouldn’t be allowed to be the face of domestic violence as I heard the rumors
of her trying to capitalize off of the situation. Who am I to box in her pain?
Who am I to hold her accountable for her actions? I’m not God, neither is the
media. No matter how terrible Evelyn was to Jennifer, Suzie, Royce, Tami,
Kenya, and Meeka (basically everyone except Shaunie), I have no right to punish
her by being apathetic towards her. I
have no right to judge her based on her past behavior because I am not God and
that is not my job. But then again, I am
not the media…
Written By: Nelle Belle
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